Email wars can breakout anytime anywhere in an organisation and are nearly always counterproductive to resolving issues, large or small. Moreover, it’s astounding that colleagues sitting right next to each other often trade work related emails. Emails can be a really efficient way of sharing knowledge and information in real time but it’s also easy (and tempting) to belt out an email response, provoked or unprovoked, to put someone back in their box on a contentious issue. In this scenario, the words seem to effortlessly glide off the key board, filled with passion and at the speed of summer lightening with little or no care for the receiver’s context and frame of mind to receive such a message. What’s worse the message received is often a lot harsher than intended by the author. The author, in most cases, has no way to gauge the receiver’s reaction to receiving the message and no chance to correct erroneous interpretations or emotional responses. In some cases, the message can appear overly aggressive simply because of misinterpretation of the language used or by unintentionally leaving the key board caps button stuck on ‘lock’ and knocking out a message in capitals or ‘email shouting’.
Emails can be a really efficient way of sharing knowledge and information in real time but it’s also easy (and tempting) to belt out an email response, provoked or unprovoked, to put someone back in their box on a contentious issue
This behaviour can lead to informal and formal complaints that require HR’s investigation or sudden and regrettable resignations if left unexplained which can seem bewildering. This may be avoided if a personal approach is taken either face to face or by phone.
So if the answer is that simple then why doesn’t it happen? Why do troublesome emails still fill cyberspace? Why are there so many non-productive HR investigations into email correspondence and why is email often the default choice of communicating tricky and sensitive communications? Is it just taking the easy way out to avoid conflict? Well, sometimes it’s not a bad idea to use email to seek clarification to diffuse a potential explosive issue to gauge the mood or tone of what you are dealing with but often it’s more effective to meet the issue head on by speaking directly to the person concerned. This enables a better understanding of the recipient’s context and a greater capacity to accurately judge how the message is being received both verbally and through body language. Taking a personal and direct approach can often diffuse potential conflict quickly particularly where it has arisen through a simple misunderstanding.
The challenge is, in our pursuit of digital discourse, that we don’t lose the ability to develop our social skills
The exploding use of social media may also have had a hand in perpetuating this phenomenon. It’s just so easy to Twitter, Facebook, blog or use LinkedIn to engage in cyber conversations. However these mediums do little to develop our interpersonal skills and can lead to skill atrophy. The challenge is, in our pursuit of digital discourse, that we don’t lose the ability to develop our social skills. Or even worse, fail to achieve optimal outcomes simply because the phone and personal representation have been subordinated to electronic media. The abbreviated text message style language has found its way into emails which has the potential to further exacerbate the problem.
Below are some simple rules to follow before sending or responding to an email:
- Is the subject matter such that it is efficient or is it logistically possible to speak directly to the person concerned? – if so, then do so.
- Have your radar up – be acutely mindful of the recipient’s situation and contextual considerations e.g. mood, frame of mind, physical surroundings, time of day and an overall assessment and consideration of their capacity and preparedness to receive your message accurately before responding.
- Be careful to not simply charge ahead and deliver your message no matter what the circumstances – be prepared to actively listen and check-in for understanding.
- If you choose to send an email:
- Assess the priority. If it can wait then don’t reply immediately with an emotional response if it is a sensitive matter. Instead sit on the email until you have time to calm down, digest and consider your response rationally. After the required time has passed re-read it again to check if it still conveys your meaning.
- If confidentiality permits have someone you trust road test/sense check your email. Their feedback could save you a lot of heart ache later.
- Consider alternative interpretations of your correspondence that may result in unintended consequences.
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Please leave a comment to let us know of your email experiences.